Balance

He halfheartedly grabbed at his toothbrush, eyes almost completely closed, mouth agape. This was Paul’s life. He needed to finish what he had started, this process of a day. Wake up, eat, work, eat, work more, eat again, watch TV, fall asleep in front of the TV, wake from the couch, maybe eat more, brush teeth, go to real bed. 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year, Paul went through his routine.
His body wanted more. The evolution of the world around him did not match the rate at which his actual body had evolved. Paul was meant to do something. His body was meant to be used, but he had digressed to a brain in a vat. Paul’s vat was 3 short walls inside of a big room on an uncomfortable, unergonomic, rolling chair in front of a computer and a phone that were all strategically placed under the glow of unnatural fluorescent light.
All of this information sat inside of Paul’s abnormally sized head, but it was not processed, not accessed. Paul was unable to look at his life from any other viewpoint than inside of it, and things were just fine. Paul did what he did. No active thoughts. Paul allowed himself to be pushed into a small world and accept it without question.
Paul had 2 weeks of vacation a year. He spent one in Destin Florida, on the beach, with Jenny, Sol, and Brad. The other 3 people in his “pod” at work. His second week? It was a staycation, Paul was frugal and building an impressive 401k.
Well, guess what? Paul’s fucking dead, car wreck. Paul died with money in the bank and heaps of porno in his browser history. Paul had a sense of humor, Paul thought things looked cool, Paul wanted to try all sorts of stuff he saw on TV and in magazines, but he didn’t. Paul wasted the present by preparing for the future.

He halfheartedly grabbed at his toothbrush, eyes almost completely closed, mouth agape. This was Paul’s life. He didn’t know what time it was, what day it was, and if you were to ask him where he was, it might take an honest 5 to 10 seconds for him to figure it out. Last night blurred into this morning which will in turn, blur into tonight.
Paul lived everywhere. He had been to Hymes Beach Australia, walked with the gorillas of the Congo rainforest, and slept on the steps of Edinburgh Castle. He could not be bound by the constraints of modern society. Job, bills, relationships, anything tying Paul to anything else was not an option, he was care free and wild. $30k in debt and his credit shot, Paul’s only sustenance came from the generosity of others. The world was wide open and available, there was too much to see and do, Paul couldn’t justify investing in one person or one place for too long.
Well, guess what? Paul’s fucking dead, heroine overdose on the streets of downtown St. Petersburg. No one knew Paul was dead, no one cared. His parents hadn’t talked to him in years and the only “friends” he had were contingent on where he was at that current moment. Paul had love to give, and wanted love to receive. He lived only for the now and has no future.

We all die, the time and place is an unknown. We also all live, make that known.