Get outta here

Guys, I literally just heard about the American Girl store. I mean, I knew of the doll, and that there are stores, but do you know what people actually DO in these stores? Well, saddle up buddy…..So you go and buy a doll for 100+ dollars, then you buy it clothes for around $35, and you buy your kid a matching outfit for about double the price. Okay, I guess, yea, it’s a little weird and expensive, but fine. Then you get the dolls hair done.
Wait, what the fuck?
Does someone graduate from the Vidal Sassoon school to style hair at the American Girl store? Honestly, I am seriously asking, I wouldn’t want anyone unaccredited touching my $200 doll investment.
Next step, let’s get the dolls ears pierced for $14. This one is your own fault. If you can’t figure out how to do this yourself, you deserve to spend a paycheck in this store that I have never set foot in but am pretty sure is actually for real hell.
Guess what?!! There is also a fucking spa package! You can get your doll a facial scrub with cucumber stickers for her eyes! This unavoidable treat is only $12. Unless, of course, you also want the nail stickers, which are an additional $5. I have never had cucumbers or cucumber stickers on my eyes, and now I hear that thousands of spoiled dolls have it better than me? Fuck you American Girl.

And then there is this:

“From her family’s New Mexican rancho comes the story of Josefina Montoya. She’s trying to preserve what is precious after her mother’s passing…..”

Yes, this is a biography of one of the dolls.

So is this:

“An inspirational side of the Civil War era comes to life in the courageous story of Addy Walker. Along with her mother, Addy is escaping slavery to find her father and brother, who’ve been sold away…..”

Cool, so these dolls also have more character than I do. Really really neat.

Isn’t part of having a doll/stuffed animal/imaginary friend/etc. being able to create it? Use your imagination and give it a unique name, clothes, life?

I had no feelings on these stores, 0, and after one look at the website I hate the shit out of them. Why did I look at the website? That’s a really good question, I’m actually not sure where this started, but let me reiterate, I fucking hate American Girl.
I don’t have a kid, but if I could borrow one of yours, I would love to take him/her and a crappy off brand doll to the American Girl store. I want to pamper my cheap doll with a spa package, maybe even buy all 3 of us a $23 per head brunch (yes, brunch is offered). I know, it’s not an American Girl doll, but by God my crappy doll NEEDS this! Who are they to say that my poor person doll can’t enjoy the finer things in life?
If they don’t let my cabbage patch kid in, I will call these dollists out and sue. It would be a classic case of discrimination, no ifs ands or buts about it.
I would of course be more than happy to split my settlement fortune with your borrowed child.
Did I mention I hate this fucking store?
Geez.

War! Now new and improved!

The United States has a huge military, gigantic really. In sheer numbers only China has more active military members, but we spend almost 4 times as much annually. So, we….win?
As of January 2014 the United States had an active military base of 1,369,532 personnel. Add in the 850,880 reserves spread across all seven reserve components and the US military, in it’s entirety, is around 2.2 million strong.
This is roughly the population of Houston, Texas, but many of these jobs may soon be obsolete.
Technology advancements obviously affect the way we do battle, they always have, but recently these advancements have allowed military operations to take place without military personnel actually present. I am of course talking about unmanned ariel vehicles, or drones.
These things are amazing, really. I hate them, but they are amazing.
The General Atomics MQ-1 Predator is the current model of choice. This beast can be armed with 2 hellfire missiles and still travel 1000 miles. So, from the comfort of my couch in Los Angeles I could fly a Predator to Reno, destroy the Harrah’s that I lost $200 at 3 years ago, and have just enough fuel to bring my drone back home to papa.
There are of course some serious advantages to drones. First and foremost we are not risking the lives of the individuals that have bravely volunteered to protect our country. Drones also give us a lot of visual information, oftentimes in places that are otherwise inaccessible.
On that same note, without the risk of our own casualties I worry that these unmanned vehicles will push us into action faster and more frequently than necessary.
Since 2004 drones have been the weapon of choice in Northern Pakistan. These UAV’s, which are controlled by the CIA’s special activities division, have carried out numerous successful strikes during both the Bush and Obama administrations. However, these attacks have come at a serious cost with an estimated 850+ civilians being part of the “collateral damage”. Some of these attacks have been labeled as “war crimes”. As you can imagine drone strikes are not popular with the people of Pakistan, making the US unpopular, and creating a whole new set of the same problems down the road.
Another serious problem with drones? Everyone is going to have them soon.
Currently the only countries with missile carrying drones include: U.S., United Kingdom, Israel, China and possibly Iran, Pakistan and Russia. 23 other countries are in the process of developing or obtaining unmanned ariel vehicles.
The lack of interaction with these flying killing machines is what scares me.
If you look at comments on pretty much any article on the internet you will get some vile horrific statements that no sane person would ever state in public. With the anonymity of a screen name and never having to see someone face to face, things can get ugly very quickly. I worry that the same thing goes for unmanned military action. If you have a problem with someone, you can locate and destroy all while wearing your sweatpants in a comfortably safe room far away.
Of course I want our troops out of harms way, but when there is no direct connection between your actions and the repercussion of your actions, fire away, it’s a video game.