Oh, that’s a way better way to murder

I am such a buffoon. Just a red in the face embarrassing mess. This pains me to admit, but I have been shooting regular bullets like a complete idiot. You know, ones that only kill people most of the time.
True, there are many varieties of bullets out there, but I am a law abiding citizen and only purchase bullets from my local Wal-Mart. This limits my options to rifle (Lead and alloy, hollow point), shotgun (Buck and round nose), and handgun ammunition (9mm, .45 special,.25 automatic). These are all perfectly fine for putting holes in anything breathing, but what if I want to shoot something sitting behind my refrigerator but don’t want to go through the trouble of moving said refrigerator? These bullets just won’t do. I would have to go against everything I stand for and buy some illegal ammo. I might as well smoke some marijuana afterwards, am I right?
Well, not anymore.
I thank God for G2 research (G2R) the Windsor, Georgia company that developed a new type of projectile that will allow me to destroy all of his creations, and do so without breaking the laws of the country I love.
G2R calls this beacon of hope the Radically Invasive Projectile, or R.I.P. It is described as “a smashing hunk of copper with full metal jacket power to shred through solid objects and stop attackers in their tracks.”. Aside from being copper, this bullet is made with trocar angles, which essentially allows the bullet to pass through hard materials and stay on course towards the intended target. Thank goodness!
Cliff Brown, the president of G2R really brings home the good intentions of their research and final product by stating: “There were so many stories out there about a woman trying to defend her home and having to shoot someone five or six times and they’d still come after her. We wanted to create an effective one-shot man-stopper.”
I have not heard these stories about a woman, but now that Cliff has informed me of all these incidences, I realize what a good samaritan he is. I hope that G2R is seriously considered for Forbes list of most ethical companies in 2014.
I am really glad that so much time and energy is invested finding more efficient ways to dispose of life. Not to mention guns and ammunition are a $6 billion a year industry in the US. Think of all the jobs that are created! Probably at least as many as lives guns take. Win/win.
Know this: man, animal or beast, I defend my home with enthusiasm. I am always ready for whatever is on the other side of that door, but unlike you, I can now finish this without ever opening the door. Thanks R.I.P!

11,413 gun deaths in 2013

Binging

There is no cable TV in my house, I haven’t had it for a decade at this point. It’s not a topic I bring up braggingly in conversation, and it’s not that I feel above TV in general. I don’t have cable simply because I know myself. Every Virgin America flight I have taken I wind up watching at least one episode of “Walker: Texas Ranger”. There are few, if any, redeeming qualities to this program, but I am at full attention. Once I catch a drift of the plot, I need to see how Chuck and his group of karate kicking deputies solve small town Texas’ big city problems.
This is my relationship with TV, all of it.
Even if what I am watching is terrible, I want to see how this terribleness concludes.
Technology has been the great enabler, and now, even without cable television, I can watch all the crap I want.
I have been a Netflix subscriber for 8 or so years. For the first 5 years I would mail movies back and forth. This would force me to really think about what I wanted to watch and hold me accountable for embarrassing movies titles lying around my apartment. Now that most everything is available streaming, I watch garbage. Not always, but far too much of it.
I put on terrible movies late at night, movies that have no business holding my attention, movies I plan on falling asleep to, but I don’t. Then at 2am when I am wide eyed watching the credits to “Don’t Mess With The Zohan”, I want to punch myself in the face for 90 minutes of lost life.
Then came the series.
I had never seen one episode of Dexter, or The Wire, or Breaking Bad, or Freaks and Geeks, or Friday Night Lights….but I made the mistake of watching the pilot to all of these, and the binging began.
One episode ends, and I start another one. It’s disgusting. But I have an emotional investment in these characters and then I have to see what happens to tragically flawed Tim Riggins. It almost feels like a job.
I saw the first episode of “The Wire” about 4 weeks ago, I am now halfway through season 4. It is one of the few shows that to me, has not (at least as of yet) had a disappointing season or majority of a season. When you binge watch it is much more clear when a show starts to lose its way. Back to back episodes with no plot development or characters acting out of character, these are things that are easier to miss when you watch once a week. Your memory is fresh as you power through 4 episodes in one night. However, even though I watched a couple downright awful seasons of Dexter, I still saw it through to its fittingly disappointing demise. The fact that I finished watching a failed product made me ask myself, “Am I an addict?”.
This is it for me. I am not starting any show that already has a couple seasons under its belt. I know there are great shows I have never seen like “Game of Thrones”, “The Sopranos”, and “Boardwalk Empire”, but I am out. Done.
I am going to keep Netflix because I certainly enjoy a good movie from time to time, but I am going to spend my binge watching time building robots instead.