America’s most hated

Casey Antony is back in the news, and she is upset.
“Our legal system is flawed.” She said in an interview on Monday.”Too many people are on the streets after committing heinous crimes, and too many innocent people are in jail.”
In case you forgot, Casey Anthony was accused of murdering her 2 year old daughter, lying to the police, creating a manhunt, blaming a meter maid for the kidnapping of her daughter….and is a free woman.
“I mean, by all logical rationale, I should be on death row. But, well, here I am!.”
Anthony is now looking into a career as a paralegal.
These quotes are made up, however, Anthony really is pursuing a career as a paralegal, which is the punchline. The irony in this hurts my face. After being voted 2011’s “most hated woman” Anthony, who slipped our legal system after undoubtedly murdering her daughter, wants to work in our legal system. If Johnnie Cochran hired her, it would be so wrongfully right.
As much as I feel like this article belongs in “The Onion”, it is real. Totally real.

The controller of destiny

“Are you happy?”
He asked me as his hands slowly clasped together and rested atop his knees. He leaned forward and I could see my reflection in his thick glasses.
“Because, you know, things can change.”
I wasn’t sure if he was trying to be helpful, or intimidating. He sank back into his tall red leather chair. The amount of confidence he was exuding did not match his poorly tailored light blue suit. It didn’t match his wide red and off white stripped tie, it certainly did not match his thick gold-rimmed glasses, and it did not come anywhere near matching what appeared to be sprayed on hair.
“Sir, I just want to express that I am unhappy with my Christmas bonus. I was told that it would be 30% more. I am happy, but that seems irrelevant in this conversation.”
“Happiness is never irrelevant.” He replied
And now I am intimidated.
I like what I do, but his unjustly inflated ego makes me not only second guess this current job, but my career in general. I came in here to discuss a matter of monetary incentive, and am now feeling less invested in my chosen everyday life.
“I suppose you are right, but I would like to discuss the bonus sir. I received no reason why the original terms of my contract were not upheld. I was just handed an inadequate check.” My voice was weak and I broke eye contact.
He smiled.
12 minutes into this meeting and I am done.
My destiny is not in my own hands.

“Are you happy?”
He asked me as his hands slowly clasped together and rested atop his knees. He leaned forward and I could see my reflection in his thick glasses.
“Because, you know, things can change.”
I smiled at him and leaned back in my chair before standing up.
“Yes, they can.”
Loosening my tie, I let out a little chuckle while maintaining 6 seconds of perfect eye contact from my higher position.
His smile dropped as I started walking for the door.
12 minutes into this meeting and I am done.
My destiny is in my own hands.

It’s raining bullets

I am super confused right now. We as a nation seem to have so much trouble getting unified behind anything. We take misinformation and half truths and run with it to solidify opinions we already developed, refusing to listen to anything that argues or even proves the other side. This sounds vague, but let me start with Sandy Hook. This was obviously a tragedy of huge proportions. However, mere hours after this shooting stones were thrown from both sides about what needs to be done. There are a multitude of issues here but all that is really being discussed is guns. With the basic argument breaking down to more guns, or less guns. Here is why I am confused. The second amendment is archaic. At this point the number of people arguing that assault rifles are necessary for hunting is pretty small, the argument for assault rifles is being based on the same principles that the second amendment was originally written for which is to prevent a tyrannical government. This made sense in 1791 and it was logical that citizens could defend themselves with their musket because that was the weapon of the times. It’s 222 years later. Citizens can arm themselves to the teeth with Ar-15’s (which is currently happening) and if the government decides to go to war with this “armed militia” tanks and planes and weapons unavailable to the public will wipe out all NRA members in a matter of hours. You need your guns to stand up to your government sponsored army? Your guns are useless for this purpose. Reason #2 I am confused. The NRA was started in 1871 to “promote and encourage rifle shooting on a scientific basis”. In 1990 the NRA became a non-profit organization. Essentially what this did was allow gun manufacturers to donate huge sums of money to the NRA and use these tax deductible donations to grow their business. The NRA is big business, sponsored by the gun makers, and somehow citizens seem to think the NRA is looking out for them. It’s not. It is looking out for the pockets of firearm and ammo companies. Thirdly and somewhat related to my second point is why do so many poor gun wielding citizens hate Obama? The reason this is related to point #2 is because in both cases people are blinding following ideas without information behind them. If you make under $50k a year in your household, the policies that Obama has put in place help you. Millions of Americans benefiting from government assistance want the leader out that is assisting them. You know who doesn’t help poor people? Kaiser, Anthem, any for profit health care provider you can think of, yet “Obamacare” is the worst thing to ever happen in this country? This is a bit of a rant, but the fact that AR-15 magazines are on back order to the tune of 1,000,000 is really saddening. The fear of losing guns outweighs the fear of losing lives, and the comments on this article make me want to cry.


Malaria is awful. I can now say this with unfortunate experience in the matter. Somewhere along a Guatemalan hike an infected female mosquito found my fresh blood and dug in. I didn’t notice that I had been bitten, and even if I had I am sure I wouldn’t have paid much attention to it. But what this one little bite did to me is in hindsight, really impressive.
I was around 200lbs when I left on my trip and this virus has whittled me down to about 180. The first couple days I thought I had eaten something bad. I didn’t feel well, but more than anything I was just lethargic. My back and knees hurt, I had chills, both of which I now know can be side effects, but at the time nothing was too alarming, until the 3rd night. I will spare you the details but everything that was inside of me came out. I have never been stabbed with a knife, but I imagine that the pain I was feeling in my stomach was quite similar to that. I was sweating, badly, cold drops pouring down my face. I stood up to get my friends attention, possibly take me to the hospital, but when I tried to walk my once sturdy legs buckled and dropped me to the floor in darkness. When I came to it was conclusive that I wasn’t going to sleep this off. So, I had a disturbing trip to a Honduran emergency room, and I am fine now.
We don’t have to worry about Malaria in the US, it is a disease that affects tropical climates primarily around the equator. There are pills you can take prior to travel in any area where Malaria is a concern. These pills can sometime cause side effects, upset stomachs, headaches, but let me assure you, these side effects are a happy alternative to Malaria. That shit sucks.