Hey Lefty

Left handed people are better than right handed people. Fact. This statement is coming from an unbiased right handed individual, so you know it’s true. Lefties make up 10% of our population, and because the right side of their brain is more active, they are the creative thinkers, the ones that see everyday objects in unusual ways. But this is really just a product of the right handed society that has been created. Obviously we all made fun of the left handed kid writing notes in his/her spiral notebook with a crooked wrist and weird spacing, but think about how many other things lefties have to adapt to: Driving a car (especially a manual), eating at a dinner table with 9 other right handers, Setting your watch (buttons are on the left, put your watch on your right wrist and try and change the time. It sucks!), Playing cards (numbers are all covered up when you fan the opposite way), scissors, ladles….etc..etc…the list goes on. So because our world is essentially not made for them, they have to think about things in a different way… thus, breeding creativity…? I think so. So I accept this challenge. Oh right, the challenge is that I am going to try and do as much as possible left handed, forever. I took notes for a full semester in 7th grade left handed, and it went horribly. I also used to brush my teeth left handed and my gosh that took forever, but I am going for it now. I have an extra 6 minutes in a day to try and improve my overall brain quality. I think we all do. This world needs a little shaking up, and maybe some creative forced lefties is just the trick.

It probably hurts

We have all heard “If your friend jumps off a bridge, would you do it to?”, but I have never been asked if I would push him. Shawn Mossow of Norfolk, NY was approached with this proposition yesterday, and his answer was a resounding “yes”. While sitting around their home in upstate NY, Mossow’s 24 year old confidant handed him a rifle because he wanted to “know what it feels like to be shot”. Sounds good to me. I don’t know if this makes for a really good friend, or a really bad one, but Mossow obliged and put a .22 into his buddy’s leg. Unfortunately for Mossow, he now faces criminal charges and $10,000 bail. Totally worth it?

Scopolamine- The craziest shit ever

I am all for legalizing marijuana, and open to the possibilities of legalizing other currently banned substances as well. Certainly some drugs are too wild to ever be offered legally, ie: PCP, LSD, Scopolamine, Heroin…. Wait, what was that one with an “S”? Oh that? It is only the craziest shit in the history of anything I have ever heard of. Scopolamine or “the devil’s breath” has been described as roofies times 10 million. I can’t even begin to understand that comparison, but after reading more about the drug I feel like that is an underestimation of its evil. Scopolamine comes from the Borrachero tree native to Northern South America, and it is most prevalent in Columbia, and why wouldn’t it be? A country that has been in a state of civil unrest for 60+ years, is the cocaine capital of the world, and has daily kidnappings, also has the worlds scariest substance. All you have to do is inhale a small dose of this powerful drug and you lose free will, and I mean very small dose. 1 gram is enough to kill 10-15 people. While on “devil’s breath” you are seemingly coherent, but you will accept anything another person is to tell you. A criminals dream. Victims have helped people rob their own apartments, willingly emptied bank accounts, and much much worse. Aside from losing free will, your memory is also erased. Essentially, you will do whatever someone asks you to, not remember who they are, anything you did, and to onlookers you are making your own choices. I have never heard of this concoction before, and I ask you to think of a scarier substance, real or fake, because I can’t.

Our nations great leaders

Wanda Brown of the Missouri House of Representatives is a truly amazing woman, in that I am truly amazed with her. First of all I am shocked that government employees will still take an interview with “The Daily Show”. In this case it seems as though Brown is just so out of touch she doesn’t even know who Jon Stewart is, but in general the ego it takes to accept one of these corespondents into your office and think you will not be the butt of a joke is beyond comprehension. Secondly, how can ones view be so horrifically skewed? Brown is about protecting people’s rights, kind of, and that “kind of” makes for an amazing 3 minutes of interview. I want to thank her for that. Now I just hope she listens to herself speak and realizes that she should never make an important decision again. Ever.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Free at Last, Free to Blast
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook