“I hate that bitch.”
The fact is that I don’t even know that “bitch” and I immediately feel bad for thinking it. Right now, I am circling around in my car looking for parking, and as I come around the corner of Andalusia and Cabrillo for the 5th time, I see some lady casually backing into a recently vacated space. It should have been mine.
I am a pretty calm and collected individual, rarely will you see my lose my temper, but parking is my nemesis. Something about the combination of wasting time and gas while being so close to my ultimate destination aggravates me to the core. So, as I drive around the same 4 city blocks for 30 minutes, I notice other things that add fuel to my fire. First let me mention that one side of the road is closed for “street cleaning”. I have already vented in a post about this absolute atrocity, so I won’t do it again, but basically what I said was that those machines don’t do shit. Another thing I notice is the abundance of SUV’s in Venice, California. If you are a painter, work in construction, archeologist, mover, serial killer or any other type of professional that would require a large amount of space to put your tools/objects/dead humans in, then you are justified in having that type of vehicle in the city, otherwise, you are rude. Living in a place where parking is a premium you have given up the right to drive a Land Rover. I am not even taking into consideration the fact that you get 5 MPG, I am speaking only from a spacial perspective and you taking up 2 spots is really a “fuck you” to the whole neighborhood. 1 child does not require you to drive a mobile home everywhere you go. These observations are a little petty, I know. These are thoughts when I am at the end of my rope, thoughts where I am almost trying to get a little more upset. But what always gets me to the end of my rope, what starts this downward spiral, are the half spots. These are the parking spots that I can almost fit in, but someone else did such a shitty job that no matter how many times I brush bumpers I am just not getting in there. LA is full of awful drivers, but as these drivers cut me off while talking on the phone, eating, playing scrabble and juggling, I usually just shake my head and continue my day. Bad parkers ruin my day. If you are the closest car to the red zone, pull all the way up to the marker, creating more space for other parkers. If you are in a huge spot, don’t put yourself in the middle, pull up to one bumper or the other creating the possibility to fit 2 cars. How is this not common sense? I want to start a “parkers ed” course, obviously teaching how to parallel park (my grandmother would be the professor) and parking etiquette. I am also very tempted to make “awards” for cars so horrifically parked it is worth noting. So if you are a city dweller, please, think before you park.
“I hate that bitch.”