Smart people like strip clubs too

Aside from the fact that I think it is ridiculous that someone actually wrote an article on this, I like that Stephen Hawking goes to strip clubs. The smartest human in the world is still just a human. Even he can’t fight his sexual desires. It is the Mensa version of US weekly’s “They are just like us!”. What really bothers me about this article is that they seem to set it up like Hawking has a problem, or a weakness. This is his private life, he is not hurting anyone, let him be. If you can sum up the history of the universe in a few hundred readable pages, and afterwards, you want to get a lap dance, do it. Good for you.

Hard Workers

This week we are moving from our small beach bungalow to another small beach bungalow 300 yards away. Most of our 600 square foot residence has been packed up, but I realized that help would be a necessity. For those of you that know me, you have already guessed that I turned to craigslist. Within 5 minutes of posting an add seeking “moving help” I had 10-15 responses, 8 hours later my inbox is flooded. These are not auto responses, and while there are certainly a few people that seem shady or severely overpriced for what was described as a small and short move, most of the responses were people genuinely looking for work. Selling themselves for a moving job, and I am sold. There are 4 or 5 of these guys I legitimately would like to hire based on their 3 sentence response, but unfortunately I only need 1. The fact that I had so many offers, so many offers under what I was expecting to pay, makes me a little sad. I am not in a position where I hire people, see resumes, or really have any clue how many people are truly seeking employment (other than stats in the news), but this craigslist post from a small corner of LA opened my eyes to how eager many people are to make a buck. So, I am going to give one of them a few, and hope that my Faberge egg collection makes it safely to its new display case.

This seems a little late.

“The Blues Brothers” is one of my dads favorite films. It is not necessarily for the storyline, acting, or even dialogue. It is mainly for the chase. If you have not seem the movie, then you have missed quite possibly the most destructive car chase in the history of film. Jake and Elwood tear through such an absurd amount of property, and since it was made in 1980, everything is real. There are no special effects, and there certainly is no CGI. In one scene the brothers lure 7 or 8 cop cars into a suburban Chicago mall named Dixie Square. This mall was consequently mangled beyond repair. Cars crashing through doors, walls, and windows. What was left behind was a structurally unsound skeleton of a building. I am bringing this up because starting next month, this mall will be demolished. 32 years after the film crew packed up, the mall is being razed. This is not a building out in the middle of a corn field. This was once a thriving mall in suburban Chicago, and somehow it has been ignored for 3 decades, rotting in a neighborhood that has certainly had a lot of transition over this period of time. How? How does this get overlooked for so long . A blatant eyesore to the community, and a hazard as well. Is this more common that I think? The only reason it gets any press is because it is a famous wrecked building. So I am wondering, is this a little late?

Half spots

“I hate that bitch.”
The fact is that I don’t even know that “bitch” and I immediately feel bad for thinking it. Right now, I am circling around in my car looking for parking, and as I come around the corner of Andalusia and Cabrillo for the 5th time, I see some lady casually backing into a recently vacated space. It should have been mine.
I am a pretty calm and collected individual, rarely will you see my lose my temper, but parking is my nemesis. Something about the combination of wasting time and gas while being so close to my ultimate destination aggravates me to the core. So, as I drive around the same 4 city blocks for 30 minutes, I notice other things that add fuel to my fire. First let me mention that one side of the road is closed for “street cleaning”. I have already vented in a post about this absolute atrocity, so I won’t do it again, but basically what I said was that those machines don’t do shit. Another thing I notice is the abundance of SUV’s in Venice, California. If you are a painter, work in construction, archeologist, mover, serial killer or any other type of professional that would require a large amount of space to put your tools/objects/dead humans in, then you are justified in having that type of vehicle in the city, otherwise, you are rude. Living in a place where parking is a premium you have given up the right to drive a Land Rover. I am not even taking into consideration the fact that you get 5 MPG, I am speaking only from a spacial perspective and you taking up 2 spots is really a “fuck you” to the whole neighborhood. 1 child does not require you to drive a mobile home everywhere you go. These observations are a little petty, I know. These are thoughts when I am at the end of my rope, thoughts where I am almost trying to get a little more upset. But what always gets me to the end of my rope, what starts this downward spiral, are the half spots. These are the parking spots that I can almost fit in, but someone else did such a shitty job that no matter how many times I brush bumpers I am just not getting in there. LA is full of awful drivers, but as these drivers cut me off while talking on the phone, eating, playing scrabble and juggling, I usually just shake my head and continue my day. Bad parkers ruin my day. If you are the closest car to the red zone, pull all the way up to the marker, creating more space for other parkers. If you are in a huge spot, don’t put yourself in the middle, pull up to one bumper or the other creating the possibility to fit 2 cars. How is this not common sense? I want to start a “parkers ed” course, obviously teaching how to parallel park (my grandmother would be the professor) and parking etiquette. I am also very tempted to make “awards” for cars so horrifically parked it is worth noting. So if you are a city dweller, please, think before you park.