Hey, let me kick you while you are down, for fun

Our nations unemployment rate is at 9.1%. That is high. Historically speaking, it is still nowhere near the 25% of US workers that were jobless during the great depression, but it is almost double the rate from a decade ago. Some of these jobs are gone for good. Technology has made life more efficient, getting rid of some positions, while creating others. We have certainly shipped jobs overseas. Our restrictions and expensive health care make it more affordable to employ and manufacture outside of the US. Bottom line, a lot of people are struggling. So, what are we going to do? Who has the answer? Hallmark does. Capitalizing on the down economy, Hallmark has started producing “unemployment sympathy” cards. Great. That is just what I would want if I were unemployed. People knowing about it, feeling sorry for me, and wasting $6 on an unoriginal card. It is basically a “fuck you” to the unemployed from the employed. Sorry you don’t have a job, but I will still spend frivolously on unnecessary items that are a reminder to you and to myself that I have money and a job. If you really feel bad and want to help, talk to them, or buy them a Trader Joe’s gift card. But a Hallmark card with some generic hogwash is lazy, rude, and degrading.

The last of a dying breed.

73 year old Arthur Gerald Jones is a member of an almost extinct group of individuals. One that I believe can no longer exist with today’s technology and linked systems of information. Arthur Jones might very well be one of the last people to ever have “vanished” from his home, leaving his wife and kids, to start a new life across the country. In 1979 Arthur ditched his flesh and blood in Chicago, traveled to Florida, then California, and eventually settled in Las Vegas. In 1986 his missing person case was closed and he was pronounced dead. Arthur Jones had purchased documents that would allow him to obtain a state issued ID under the name of Richard Sandelli, and he has been living under that name for the past 32 years. Throughout most of history, I would imagine it would have been relatively easy to disappear and start a new life. Not anymore. We are tracked with all sorts of information from bills and credit lines, to the identification items in your wallet. And background check are a cinch. You may be able to find a little safe haven somewhere outside of the country, but not here. Arthur was caught when the real Richard Sandelli disputed income from a Vegas casino on his social security statement. Not sure how that came to light after 22 years of employment, but nonetheless, here we are now. So, Arthur Jones can now go back and say hello to the wife that had assumed she had been widowed, and kids that presumably had been orphaned. I am sure they will be glad to see him. Also, does he get to break the news that they have to pay back the $47,000 they received in social security benefits after his death? Cause that conversation would be awkward.

Rats

This is George, he is an outcast in the rodent community. Why? This picture says it all.

While many of you ascertain that rodents are gross, I think you are overlooking some of the less hideos members of this species. Rodents include: mice, rats, squirrels, gerbils, porcupines, beavers, chipmunks, guinea pigs, and voles. Chipmunks are adorable, beavers are absolutely amazing creatures, and really, how can you not love a squirrel? But George is sending them all down the river, and for what? Rumor has it he received a beach house in Florida and $800,000 cash for this advertisement. With that kind of dough, George is probably tail deep in a wheel of Gruyere. Is it worth it George? Every time you go to the ATM, you are walking over the bodies of your kinsfolk. You are a rat George, in the worst sense of the word. I know you appear to be a down to earth kinda guy, blue jeans, t shirt, hands in your pockets and a nice smile, but you are a real son of a bitch. You have profited at the expense of the other members of your species, and as you withdraw another cool $80 from the ATM I hope you realize the cost of those crisp Hamilton’s in your pocket. People, let George be a lesson. While this behavior, that of a sociopath, occurs frequently amongst the human race, don’t let it be the norm. Make rats the anomaly, not the standard. George, eat shit.

Space Trash!

Re-entry into the Earth’s atmosphere is hot. Somewhere around 13580.33 Fahrenheit hot, depending on the size/speed/shape of the reentering object. Because of this extreme temperature, pretty much everything will burn as it crosses into our atmosphere…pretty much everything. Oddly enough, an estimated 26 different items on a NASA climate satellite will make it to Earth safe and sound. Great! This Satellite has been circling our planet for the last 20 years as non functional, inoperable, space trash. Now it will be coming back home, some time around September 23rd, and somewhere between northern California and southern South America. The odds of it hitting a human have been set at 1 in 3,200. Is Vegas taking bets? Is there a derivative to “invest” in? If that hunk of junk lands in my backyard, I am selling it on ebay. Buy it now, $1 billion.